There are Old Sayings and New Ages

My heart speaks to me
In curves, pictures, zen.
It does not remember like the mind,
It simply lives.
Open, it touches all it sees;
Closed, it softly restores;
Always in perfect balance,
Though I may not always
Understand it's odd rhythms -
The times it skips a beat
Or runs away with itself.

There are no words
But those of my heart
And it is boundless,
Its armour lighter now
Than years gone by:
Heavy plate turned to
Nimble leather, a second skin
To clothe me when I need it.

When you feel as light as air
Something is needed to
Keep your feet on the ground:
My heart has an untethered nature
Conscious of its many layers,
So throws down anchors 
From time to time.
But it knows to cast off often,
For, unbound,
It can let go of what it loves,
Trust that leaps of faith
Bring untold riches
That all the positive wishing in the world
Can never hope
To manifest.

The Path

We awaken.
Our minds imagine pain enough
To pull us from deep slumber,
To make our bodies wake
To change
A situation no longer tenable.
There is no clarity
Like that post-storm,
When the wild winds
Are behind you now,
When you can emerge
From cool safe depths
To a surface of waves
Which arrive gently
On the lap of the shore.

The rocks over which you scrambled,
The pools through which you waded
Are still there,
Though no one again will tread
The path you made with your two feet.
The almost-distraction of a peaceful lagoon,
The green stone that shone:
Perhaps no other being will see them,
Certainly not the way you did
On that day,
So here we are,
Left with the story of them now.

And here still, the beautiful shell
You collected,
A reminder to hold
What you learned:
That your way was perfect
Because it was yours;
That you could tread carefully and pause
To cause no harm
And also find joy in risk and swiftness,
In the deep, intuitive knowing
Of where you needed to go
To make a life that was your own.

The Wheat and the Chaff

The ripples of fear
That kept me from landing
Were in anticipation
Of the grief here present
When I arrived.

Expressing truth at every turn
Takes courage
The like of which 
I have never known.

Who I am now
Is not who I was then
Or then or then,
Though I may seem familiar.

The owned words of others in this circle
Give clarity
But outside, so often,
I hear the opinions 
Of those who think they know me,
Who offer with love and kind intention
The story of their own heart,
Telling me it's mine.

I wait.
I listen.
Until I hear my own voice sing,
My own tears weep;
Until I know
It is time for the loss,
That Nothing can prevent it,
Only allow a rebirth
Of Something else
With a flavour of me
Combined with a seed
Which arrived in my hand
When I left the old stem
Behind.

And the dawning joyful chorus
Will not be held back
With cries of too much
Too soon, too early:
The wheat is ripe for new living,
The chaff ash happy to be fuel
For what lies ahead.

I leap......

Listen

In the quiet mystery,
Softness beckons.
In that place beyond words,
Thought-less,
Where aliveness is not
Mind-measured,
You can hear it call
With something other than ears.

Listen.

Oh, dear heart
Listen without listening:

Sit in pre-sense
In the stem of sensual life;
Let it sweep you
Into open, waiting arms,
Its gentle voice telling you
Yes,
Beloved,
You are home.

Something Important

There was something important
I was supposed to be doing.
Something so vital
That to do anything else
Was impossible.
I sat all day
Trying to do other things
With a wandering mind
To what I could not remember.

I knew it then,
In the wild days of drugs and sex,
Drinking and dancing,
When I saved myself
For a whole year
From the needs of others - 
At least just enough
So I could also hear myself.

And I knew it then,
Before the depths of injustice
Became apparent.
When days were play and music,
Togetherness, pretence and imagination.
When the sense of
Not belonging began - 
The unrelated outsider
Arriving late,
Welcome but afraid.

And oh for years
I made a life of
Holding suffering for others,
Always seeking deeper meaning
To understand the cause
In God, childhood,
Him, Her, Them.....

Until I gave it back.
Till this voice had a chance 
To speak its own calamities,
Distress and celebrations.
Till I was heard and held with love
And no expectation.

And then I remembered
There was something important
I was supposed to be doing.
The thing that was always there
In my heart
Spirit-strong
Soul-shaped
Body-enlivening
Mind-expanding.

So now I do that
Whenever I can,
Whenever the fear and distraction
Is not in the way.
I still forget
But I'm getting better
At remembering
Myself.

The Hidden Path of Plain Sight

Do you know where it is you are going?
Or whose blood is upon the stone?
Do your dreams lie so far behind you
They are nought but dust and bone?
 
Do you pray to God or a Buddha?
Do you worship the moon or the sun?
Is your life lived only through mindset?
Has your spiritual journey begun?
 
And what of your heart and emotions?
Tell me what ails you now?
Does your soul ever sing uninhibited?
Do you know when to let it, or how?
 
Bones can be sung into being -
Don't fear to gather them hence;
For there comes a time in your life
When you can no longer sit on the fence.
 
God can be found in the Nothing - 
There's nothing to fear or to love;
Just open your life to experience
The union of below and above.
 
For it's all just the same anywhichway
You choose to see it or not:
Born together, these Something's from Nothing,
We are all that we've got.
 
So we cling together in darkness,
Rejoice together in light;
Collect your courage and come hear the truth now -
It's only hidden in plain sight.

The Pulse

I pressed and pressed
Could not digest
The story with no name:
That one will keep
You from your sleep;
My finger was the pulse.
 
Until in time
With reason and rhyme
Some understanding came;
I danced and danced
I took no chance:
My finger was the pulse.
 
And then I knew
Unless I threw
That story right away,
My life would feel wrong,

I'd lack my own song:
My finger was the pulse.

So I decided

I'll not be divided
The song of my heart I will play:
Oh how the sun beams
When your soul lives its dreams!
My finger is the pulse.